Last week we had a few "firsts". Some were very sweet while others were not so much. If you follow me on Instagram I posted a picture sharing that I started the weaning process. About three weeks ago both of my breast felt extremely sore every time Evan nursed. I ignored it until I began to see my skin cracking or blistering and left me in intolerable pain during and after every feeding. Even though I knew Evan wasn't ready to stop breastfeeding, I decided it would be best to end this chapter. Evan wasn't(isn't) okay with that. He's constantly asking me to nurse him, and saying no is extremely difficult. When I say no he gets so upset and it just breaks my heart. These past few days have been hell. The cuts(or cracked skin) seal between feedings, but once Evan latches on they open up again. My frustration was over the roof because I had no idea what to do. Wednesday night I lost it and decided to just let Evan cry it out. Worst idea EVER! The crying was endless. I got no sleep, but managed to NOT breastfeed Evan all night for the first time, ever. The cry out method isn't for us. It may work for others, but I felt horrible inside. I've realized that saying goodbye to breastfeeding isn't the best idea right now. If Evan still wants to breastfeed I can't force him to wean overnight. Honestly I don't think I'm ready either.

In the morning I felt so bad. We wanted to take him somewhere special to make it up to him. We decided to go out for frozen yogurt(his first time) and he loved it. I don't know why we waited so long to take him. Unfortunately I have no pictures to share his excitement. After our lovely date we were surprised with rain. It just felt like such a magical day. I didn't think it could get any better but it did. Evan saw his first rainbow that day. He kept saying blue. It was such a beautiful experience. We ended that day with a quick stop to Toys R Us and spoiled him with a new toy. We had a nice family date, and he seemed to forgive us for putting him through such a rough night.
As far as my issue, I continue to apply lanolin and hope for it to heal soon. I always say this, but being a mother is such a beautiful challenge. My current issue is just another daily challenge that I'm sure I will surpass staying positive. I'm currently using this method to help heal. To all of you nursing mamas reading this, any weaning tips, or a remedy that will heal my skin?? Thank you for reading!
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